april 2 in idea barrages

Why call them “drinking holidays” when you could so easily call them “blackout dates” instead?

Medusa milk is required to create gorgonzola cheese.

Sometimes my brain sings the old Sweet Pickles jingle but as “smart moms know how kids minds grow upon dick nipples”. I’m not proud of it. I’m just saying, my entire generation was ruined by the television and that’s okay. We deserved it. We all deserved it.

Flirty wizards on the internet DM you all like “SEND NEWTS”.

Spider Man grappling with The Lizard. Gecko-Roman wrestling.

Engineering songs are generated by a CNC music factory.

If you DC vs Marvel Access fused Thor and The Flash, it’d make sense, right? They both involve lightning. But the best part is, the Cosmic Treadmill and Mjolnir would fuse together into… The Nordic Track.

Tom Holland should prove his love to Zendaya by commissioning me to make an album of parodies of pop songs for her, all about DUNE, for at least one million dollars.