nov 24 in idea barrages

“Don’t go eat the Applebees with anyone else but me, anyone else but me” would be the weirdest song parody ever.

Asshole bottom JEANS, boots on the FEET

If Disney really wanted to get their crossover mojo going, we’d get an epic Rambo/Mannequin crossover called MISSING INACTION but ain’t no one has any good ideas these days.

If I was a billionaire, I wouldn’t do dumb useless things like shoot a cranky old actor into space. I’d do COOL useless things like make them engineer the rumble strips on the Thruway to play “Never Gonna Give You Up” if you hit ‘em at the right speed.

Start a pie company just so you can have a primate mascot called the Meringueotan. Do something interesting! Accumulating money credits won’t make you happy, hell, success is boring after a while. Do something magical, for Christ’s sake, just to do magic. We need it badly.

If Montreal were less Francophonic, I’m sure that their storied bagel tradition would lead to at least one bagel shop called “Oy Canada”.

The sounds of the Kool Aid Man and the Macho Man making love would be both strange and confusing.

Dear Internet, please, take the time out of your day to explain to at least one person today that liking Taylor Swift is not a substitute for a personality. We can all work together to wipe out the scourge of people thinking that liking Taylor Swift is their entire personality.