oct 29 in idea barrages

They totally could’ve called retail therapy “shelf care”. They didn’t but they should’ve.

Ape cannot be in possession of ape is nine-tenths of ape law.

I think when I finally get a band together to do an entire album of rock parodies about Dune, ill call it “Journey Halleck”.

Maybe the one ring to bind them was, like, cheese. Like like a ring of cheese. That stuff sure can bind.

A washed-up actor, grifting on the evangelical lecture circuit, in an effort to recenter the holiday around Jesus, steals Santa’s beard and with it, his magic. Can a plucky team of internet sleuths recover St. Nick’s whiskers or will the d-lister succeed in… SHAVING CHRISTMAS?

I believe that dog people now prefer the less insensitive term “werewolves”.

Apple Betty-JEAN, desserts made by HER

Bags of dehydrated peppermint patties for snacking and you call them “York Rinds”. Check mate.