oct 5 in idea barrages

Rival emos battle each other in sadiatorial combat.

You will perform mediocre neo-Celtic rock tripe but at least it will all the lyrics be about Bill Murray films. You will carve out a cult niche as “The Dropkick Murrays” and it will put food on the table. It won’t be a life to be proud of but at least it will have been a life.

Waaaaatch out Indy, MOLA RAM, waaatch out Indy, MOLA RAM, gonna rip your chest apart, MOLA RAM, he’s gonna eat your heart, MOLA RAM

Tonight, September ends. Tomorrow, if Green Day sticks their heads out of their burrow, we get six weeks more of terrible pop punk. If they stay down, six weeks less.

Homer Simpson as the Pillsbury Annoyed Grunt Boy.

Either everything’s a magic trick or nothing is. Either way, it all counts about the same.

If you receive full sleeve plaid tattoos on both arms, as if you were wearing an eternal flannel shirt, you will wake up the next morning with the ability to play the mandolin.

Corn smut is both a genuine agricultural blight and a fictitious disease you can pick up by filming pornography in the Midwest.