sept 21 in idea barrages

Imagine enjoying media w/out a need to engage in fandom, endless discourse with the like-minded. None of the external validation of discussion & fanwank, no drama, no setting up camps or sub-camps. Just liking what you like & moving on with your life. God, it sounds so beautiful.

A reality show about a hairdresser on the Jersey Shore called THE BIG BANGS THEORY.

It’s a show about a bunch of spicy old ladies. It’s called THE GULDEN GIRLS.

I never understood Raisin Brans advertising MORE raisins like it’s a good thing. Raisins are things we put in good things, to ruin them, so we feel healthier and less guilty. What would sell me is “LESS RAISINS”! “THE LEGAL MINIMUM RAISINS TO STILL BE CALLED RAISIN BRAN!”

Imagine if the pizza at Chuck E. Cheese’s had actually been GOOD, if it had been THE BEST PIZZA YOU EVER ATE. But even as a grumpy old adult you still had to endure singing robots & child casino to enjoy it. Maybe it’s better it was mediocre, we can’t be all things to all people.

Buckets in Sea World labeled with a stern admonition: “FOR TRAINING PORPOISES ONLY”.

Your report on THE JUNGLE will involve a rap with the chorus “Upton, funk you up, Upton, funk you up”. You will fail but it will be worth it.

You ever burst up out of bed, realize that you should write a parody of the Beastie Boys “Brass Monkey” about “Shrek’s Donkey” and believe this so badly that you post it to social media only to be ashamed of yourself the next morning? Just me?