sept 10 in idea barrages

If you get caught between the moon and New York City, best that you can do is hope that you’re at the equilibrium point where you’ll just float until you suffocate and freeze to death, as opposed to being ripped apart by their warring gravitational forces, Christopher Cross.

Spend your life working your way up to the top of a medium sized city’s urban planning commitment, just so that when the time is right, you will have the power to name the next round of low-income housing “The Alan Parsons Projects”. That’s a life well lived, right there.

If you have the money to get Colm Meany to say “Po-tay-toes! Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew. Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish” on Cameo but you don’t spend that money, you don’t deserve that money.

A head-canon where the rat in Ratatouille is only nicknamed Remy, his full name is Remolade.

A weird thing about being human is putting tomatoes in caprese salad. We’re ashamed of how good mozz is with balsamic & basil, we slip in a dang rubbery tomato slice to pretend we’re eating healthy. You don’t have to pretend you want the tomato. Death comes for us all either way.

Perhaps farts are just how our butts communicate with each other. Maybe they’re just booty calls.

Singing “Mama Mia” as “STREGA NONA, HERE WE GO AGAIN, MY MY, GOTTA KISS THE PASTA” like all the cool kids.

Why don’t we call “dreadlocks” “tubic hair”?