aug 30 in idea barrages

I get that FARGO is a terse and iconic title but they really could’ve gone with A PRAIRIE HOME ACCOMPLICE.

One path to the most obnoxious movie ever would be mashing-up two already obnoxious films into a hybrid of schmaltz and intelligent insult. Perhaps something like EAT PRAY LOVE ACTUALLY.

Everyone’s talkin’ facebook jail this and twitter jail that, what about facebook restorative justice, what about twitter rehabilitation therapy? Where are our social media half-way houses and work-release programs?

If it turns out your MMA fight involves werewolves, is it legally a dogfight?

As the security guards dragged him out of the Dennys for not wearing pants, you could hear him from across the street in the Olive Garden yelling “YOU SAID BOTTOMLESS COFFEE!” over and over again.

Maybe their reading comprehension is just such crap that they think “vaccines” and “vampires” are the same things. They just see the first two letters, the last two letters, that they’re both eight letters and jump for their holy water.

“This just in!” is what every newscaster should yell at the beginning of sex.

You can sing his name to the tune of Eleanor Rigby. “JOHN C MCGINLEY”.