aug 29 in idea barrages

The title “Peaky Blinders” was wasted on the British mafia show when it could’ve been the new word for nipple pasties.

When young, we are each a pliable gelatin of affections suspended in a bowl. If lucky, we can live until we harden into a firm set of eccentricities.

At a certain point of continuous use, a “protective cup” becomes instead a “chafing dish”.

Viagra is a firmware update.

It’s possible that the Phantom Tollbooth was the only way to get on the Bridge to Teribithia. Was Narnia involved? Who knows? I sure as hell don’t.

Tonight, I just realized that we could make a sitcom about annoying people still inexplicably into The Cherry Poppin’ Daddies and it could be called THE BIG BAND THEORY.

Jokes about fraternities are bro-hanging fruit.

You cut your wedding cake with a baeblade.