aug 12 in idea barrages

Here’s something wild: Bruce Willis used to have hair. Really! I know, it’s like impossible to imagine but there it is. When I try to remember DIE HARD or MOONSTRUCK, my brain re-wrote him to be bald but nope. I checked photos. He had hair then. Wild.

If you really think about it, Wonder Bread is “anglo food cake”.

Aloysius “Snuffy” Snuffleupagus and the Notorious B. I. G. B. I. R. D.

The best thing about being a Greek demi-god must’ve been going to a temple and yelling “PILLAR FIGHT!” and bashing each other with architectural columns because, hell, what could the humans do to stop you? You can just have Mom or Dad punish them, ironically.

I practice empathy & hope in my real life but sport’s my one exception the one place where I coldheartedly assess value as they’re all millionaires I’ll never meet. If my team’s bad I’ll loudly yell it out as being right is my only consolation prize for their terriblity. My New York Mets are bad and they should feel bad.

I want Eminem to get caught up in a pyramid scheme so that he can rap “THE FTC WON’T LET ME BE”.

If you gotta call yourself “World Famous” you are not world famous.

Have we considered that maybe just God is hard of hearing and we’ve been doing this whole prayer thing wrong? Maybe if we just screamed our desires, we could still fix this whole “humanity” thing.