july 9 in idea barrages

“Why did you buy that Dutch language version of Boggle at the thrift store, Mike?” “BECAUSE IT WAS THERE.”

Lankershim, darlin’, Lankershim, NoHo where all that tinsel dims

Television executives are like “Okay, Clippers versus Philly can still get us decent ratings but if the NBA Finals is Phoenix vs. Milwaukee, we are all faking our deaths and reinventing ourselves as lumberjacks in Norway.”

Without the context of knowing what’s double-entendre or isn’t, the future’s going to have a lot of fun misunderstanding the meaning within our pop culture. “She don’t eat meat but she sure likes the bone” will drive ‘em NUTS just as Shakespeare drives high school kids the same.

Without the phrase “seamless Bluetooth pairing” Youtube itself would collapse into such digital dust like a mummy divested of its animating magic.

If it takes you more time to organize than you would save by being organized, don’t organize. It’s one of those lessons that this culture’s Protestant Work Ethic horsecrap hides from us but damn if it isn’t important to learn.

Now, if the Snickers bar were the heft and dimensions of a baseball bat, that would be a “Fun Size”. A postage-stamp of Snicker, whose idea of fun is that? That’s like “Tease Size”. You are handing out Taunt-Sized Snickers. In ways, it is worse than no Snick at all.

Wherever you might refer to the Wu-Tang Clan, instead consider referring instead to the amateur paranormal research group Mutual UFO Network or “MUFON”. Imagine singing “MUFON CLAN AIN’T NOTHIN’ TO FUCK WITH”, for example. How cool is that. How cool is that.