may 13 in idea barrages

“I thought you may need a snack after a long evening fighting murder clowns, sir.” “Thanks, Alfred, set it next to the Bat-Computer.” “Your hot-butlered popcorn, sir.” “My what?” Alfred holds a bowl of popcorn, wearing only a bowtie & a thong. “Oh, Alfred, you’re the REAL Joker.”

Perhaps, at least, we can get the news cycle moving so fast that we can bankrupt all the companies that make terrible “topical” Halloween costumes by moving the discourse so fast that the trend would be forgotten by the time they got “sexy version of meme” to market.

A stage version of The Fast And The Furious titled A STREETRACE NAMED DESIRE.

Internet “celebrities” need to understand “it wasn’t technically illegal” doesn’t matter because the entire basis of that kind of “fame” is parasocial relationships where they’re not just an entertainer, they’re also a surrogate friend. The burden of proof is exponentially lower.

“I’ve invented a revolutionary new coffee machine,” exclaimed Steve Keurig, “and I call it The Brown Squirter!” His boss looked up at him. “Hooowwww about we just name it after you instead?”

The Three Stooges for the 21st Century: Like, Comment and Subscribe. (Eventually Comment retires and is replaced by Ring That Bell but then Ring That Bell retires and is himself replaced by Comment Joe DeRita.)

PRO-TIP: nuns hate it if you accidentally call the convent a “Jesus coven”.

There is a particular kind of added grief when someone dies and… you can’t even feel comfortable going to the services because of the pandemic, because you’re not fully vaccinated and there’s still a lot of vulnerable people in your life. A sting within a sting.