may 10 in idea barrages

If anyone asks you about your dental check-up, just say you had a cavity search. It’s technically true.

A head canon where there’s panic at the disco because of the arcade fire next door, cascading into a full-on atari teenage riot.

83% of all foods are improved by the inclusion of the word “breakfast”. Breakfast SANDWICH. Breakfast BURRITO. Breakfast SAUSAGE. Breakfast VODKA. Bam. Bam bam bam.

Box of Corn Pops + Cheese Powder = Emergency Cheetos.

My Peak Late-Gen-X trait is that I am fluent in social media but still wanna do it from a laptop instead of a phone. I posted a picture to facebook with my phone but had to edit in the tags from my computer because I don’t know how to do it on a phone. That’s how old I am.

Whenever I saw the Puppy Surprise commercial, I always wanted to see one where it’s like a stage magician delivering the puppies and it’s like… endless puppies and the kids’ minds are just BLOWN.

Y’know what would be a REAL weird cultural mash-up? MIDNIGHT COWBOY BEBOP.

Everybody says “Keep The Christ In Christmas” but nobody worries about keeping the Cyber in Cyber Monday. These days it’s all about shopping online the Monday after Thanksgiving, almost no one having cyber sex. It’s a war on Cyber Monday!