may 1 in idea barrages

You promised Tarantino you were going to wear open-toed sandals but you showed up in closed-toe sandals and now he’s calling you a Crocs tease.

Even the best periscope is sub optimal.

If Coldplay had any sense of humour about themselves, they’d release a cookbook “Viva Sous Vide”.

She begs for the animal to give her back the stolen map. She is Dora The Implorer.

After the apocalypse when we have to raise subterranean cows because of the radiation, at least we can still call it ground beef.

Vengeful Queen be all “HEIR TODAY? GONE TOMORROW.”

The optimal Marilyn Manson parody involves the chorus “it’s my birthday, golly gee, time for cake inside of me”.

Anything in night-mode is literally a site for sore eyes.