mar 31 in idea barrages

Sell peanut butter waffles with the catch-phrase “Legume My EGGUMES!”

At some point, Macys is going to go bankrupt and the Thanksgiving Parade will get a new corporate sponsor like a jank third-tier college football bowl game. The GoDaddy Thanksgiving Day Parade. LendingTree Thanksgiving Day Parade. Duke’s Mayo Thanksgiving Day Parade.

The film about a dinosaur cop “Theodore Rex” should’ve been called “Jurassic Narc”.

The first line of the first page of OB-Gyn textbooks: “Do not refer to the speculum as a snatchula.”

The Intercept merging seamlessly with Russia Today and people on the far left and far right both smiling and saying “more allies!” proved Horseshoe Theory years ago.

The question isn’t who let the dogs out, the question who was arrogant enough to believe the dogs could ever be contained.

If you write a pirates versus The Planet of The Apes fan-fiction without involving the line “CHIMPS AHOY!” what are you even doing?

They create dance tunes through the intricate process of computer-aided machine tooling. They are a CNC music factory.