mar 19 in idea barrages

Your Internet Scam name is your ATM pin and then your social security number.

I want Trump to have a “November 1st College Campus Walk-Of-Shame” exit, Trump in a disheveled incomplete version of his Halloween costume from the party the night before, bleary, hungover, visibly shaken by all the events that lead up to this moment kind of exit. That energy.

Singing Beatles songs like Shrek. “Everybody’s got something to hide except for me and my DONKEY!”

When I’m stuck in a waiting room and there’s an intermittent beep, I often start pretending I’m actually in a coma somewhere, the beep is from my life-support machines and the waiting room is my purgatory. I can’t be the only one, especially these days.

(turns on a television in Bedrock) HI, THIS IS GUY FLUORITI AND WELCOME TO DINOS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES!

That’s another thing Roy Rogers has over these rioting neo-Nazis. Unlike them, he had trigger discipline.

The trial of Captain Hook hinged on some real He Said, Smee Said testimony.

I mean, I guess you could write a parody of “Hooray for Hollywood” about Hoobastank.