mar 4 in idea barrages

If we were all Pez dispensers, we could load a tube of Pringles down our throats and shoot little sour cream & onion discs at our enemies.

A Soundgarden parody about Super Mario Brothers 2 called “Birdo In My Hand”.

I can no longer hear the Aerosmith song “Dream On” without imagining Eminem occasionally interjecting a “COME ON!” for no particular reason. Then my own brain imagines Marky Mark yelling “FEEL IT!” as is every time I hear a white dude rap.

Without the crowds of freezing tourists pissing their own pants for warmth, you really see how the Times Square Ball Drop is just a bunch of celebrities patting themselves on the back and, occasionally, each others’ backs.

In 2021, let go of trying to be great, embracing trying to do good. That’s all. That’s the whole thing. That’s the ballgame. Greatness is for suckers and authorized biographies. Goodness actually helps people.

Now that everyone hates the Harry Potter lady, we can talk about how The Sorting Hat looks like an absurdly large pile of turds without people getting mad at us.

Somewhere in the world a person opened up an onlyfans account then closed it disappointed. “Naked women with unfortunate tattoos? I was hoping for some hot ceiling fan action!” Everyone’s into something.

“Yes, I know you’re just my step-ladder” he told the tool “but in time, I hope you’ll come to see yourself as much my ladder as if we were of the same blood.”