Self awareness in All

I always prided myself on being a relatively stable person. I do not get angry or lose my temper, I don't cry at the drop of a hat, even when I have PMS. In fact, I don't ever cry. I don't ever let anyone see that I am hurting. Ever. But lately that has all changed. I feel like I am crying everyday. And it all started at the end of January with another "typical" fight with my mother. This time it was over my brother who had not been making good life decisions recently. And my mother chose to pass judgement on him and shun him, and had been spending the better part of 8 months trying to convince me why I should shun him as well.
First, my stance is "let people make their own mistakes". If they can't ever make mistakes, how will they learn life's lessons? Secondly, who the hell am I to judge what this man does in his life. Who am I to ridicule a man on his quest for happiness?
And what kind of a mother, and family, abandons another family member when they are going through a time of major change and confusion in their life? Not me. That's for sure. I don't condone all of the things he has done, a lot of things were hurtful to other family members, But he has struggles and waffled on his decisions, and that has caused some hurt feelings, but I will forgive him, because it's a necessary part of his journey. And I will support him emotionally, and try to help him find the right path. I am by no means enabling him to treat people poorly, I have no problem telling him that some of the decisions he made were shitty. But he needs emotional support, and that is what I am here for. Isn't that what family is for?

Back to my Mother, after months of listening to her spew her hatefulness about my brother to me and the rest of the family, I decided I had enough, I broke. And I gave her an earful. My 100% total opinion. And oh boy. were there repercussions. As the dust started to settle my sister sent me a link to a website saying "Hey doesn't this describe mom perfectly? LOL"
That joke and that link has changed my whole life perspective. My whole reality. What I thought I knew and what I thought was real and what wasn't. I was flipped upside down. It was a link to a psychology page describing Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I read through it, and at first I shrugged it off and thought some of those things sound like her, but I don't really think she is like that all the time. But I decided to do a little more research and happened across this webpage describing Mothers with NPD and Daughters of Mothers with NPD. http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder.html

The feeling of Euphoria I had is indescribable. It was like this woman cut open my brain, reached inside, pulled out every memory, every interaction and every feeling I had ever had with my mother, and articulated it and slapped it on a webpage for everyone to read. Holy Crap. Finally someone has put into words what I have been trying to articulate for my entire life. I am not crazy. This unexplainable thing/feeling/shadow/negativity I have experienced my whole life... there is a word for it. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. And I have a mother who has it.