On Ally. in The Napkin.

She’s a girl I made out with at Airk’s family’s Fourth of July Party.

There we go, my Thesis Statement.

She was friends with Airk’s little sister. And to skip to the end.

She was hitting on me SO hard. Proverbially THROWING herself at me. In my archive, I literally have a picture or two of her asleep on top of me clad in pants and a bra.

She’s physically attractive, sure. But mentally, I could tell something was off. We’ll get to that.

We were all boozed up, sure, but I was still at a state where I was a light drinker. I still had a clear head. She was more drunk than me. Asking me over and over “Am I pretty?” “Am I beautiful?” Her insecurities were very clear.

An Airk family party can have over 30+ people. A lot drunk, some perhaps high. I had set up shoppe on the couch, as it’s a free-for-all in terms of where to sleep. A lot crashing on the floor.

(If it must be said, Airk’s mom had a rule that you can get as wasted as you want, just no driving. No carkey bowl. Just the honor system. Won’t forget when I spotted a cop car across the street and quietly communicated this. And it was hysterical how many people started scrambling to hide their weed. Airk’s mom used to call me Timberly. Te he he. Loved it.)

So, it’s the middle of the night, and my conscious is wrestling with this. This girl had been pawing at me ALL NIGHT. I held her at bay, mostly because she was drunk. I did the right thing and waited until she had sobered a bit. And when I sensed her faculties come back, I made a questionable call. I don’t think I did anything morally wrong, as she was sober.

My mind was going back and forth of whether to kiss her. That I wrestled with this shows my moral integrity. I have Honor. I was in a mental state in my life where I was trying to “go against myself” as much as possible. So I felt… I said to myself… “Timmy. Give yourself this one. Once in your life, let yourself have this.”

And so in a room full of asleep humans, we had a really good make-out session. She was the one that pushed my hands on her tits. Red-lining activity to do in a room full of asleep humans.

But.

But!

She then guided my hand down her pants. I felt her slight pubic stubble.

I pulled my hand out.

It wasn’t just the ROOM FULL OF ASLEEP HUMANS, it was… more her mental state. I couldn’t explain it at the time, but I ended up being right, and I hate being right.

I talked her down from her mental and physical horniness. She did indeed fall asleep right on top of me on that couch.

I chatted with her on AIM eventually. As all of her signs were “This too obvious, it can’t be true.” (Also, POST-CARE! Before I knew what post-care was.)

I asked her. She totally owned it.

She has “daddy issues”.

She went pawing at an older guy. I know I was cute, but I think it was more than that.

Or maybe she pawed at me BECAUSE I was holding her at bay. She felt safe? Maybe.

And in a way, she lucked out with me. Because, please don’t judge me. I had that millisecond thought of “We could go to my ‘88 Dodge Caravan and I could eat her pussy…” To not disturb all the sleeping humans. But I vetoed it pretty fast.

It’s…

What if I wasn’t Timmy?

She was THROWING herself at me.

What if I was a bad male who would have seen this attractive girl and taken advantage of her? Consent is so tricky. Because it goes beyond her giving every signal of YES YES YES. Because given her mental state, if I had coital relations with her that night, it would have been WRONG. Booze or no booze, she was in no mental state to be “sport-fucked”.

Because bad males might do such a thing. They might see a girl throwing themselves at them, and not think twice. I thought twice. Thrice. And beyond. It’s not about caring about her, I barely know her. It’s about human decency.

SHE was the one that guided my hand towards down her panties.

But no, I drew a line.

I think I got my point across. I seem to be on an anecdotal rampage about consent, and well, this is one of them.

Hope you have a nice partner to pound your pussy.

Last updated January 15, 2021