jan 16 in idea barrages

If I were part of a supervillain duo, I would make our code-names “Collaborate” and “Listen” so that when a superhero or a cop or whatever yelled “STOP! COLLABORATE AND LISTEN!” people would start singing Ice Ice Baby by reflex, buying us more time for escape.

I enjoy when people mishear a phrase but the new mangled phrase still kind of makes sense. “Buttoning down the hatches” is a good one like that. If you don’t know what “battening” is, you could well believe that hatches can be buttoned-down somehow.

A director of horror movies about cheese named Dario Sargento.

Writing and augury aren’t different at all. You spill all your guts in a place and try to make some sense of it. If someone likes what you did with it, they will think that it was magic but it was really just a lot of hard work pushing through confusion.

If you say “Super Bowl” on the radio without the express written permission of the NFL, Candyman appears in the mirror and kills you. I can’t explain it, I’m no copyright attorney, it’s complicated.

A beatnik vampire called Bela LaGoatee.

A bandit who runs into grocery stores, destroying all the Hamburger Helper, leaving his calling card as The Hamburger Hindrance.

Singing along to No Diggity - “I like the little meat plate, charcuterie, charcuterie”