jan 11 in idea barrages

When the alien anthropologists find the sports stadia of old America, will they rightly understand them as the temples and shrines of our governmentally-supported civic polytheism or will they mistake them as places of mere athletic exhibition?

Has Shaquille O’Neil ever gone as “Count Shaqula” for Halloween? If not, why not? Show your work.

Stereotypes against Middle Easterners and South Asians are just hurtful turban legends.

Jimmy Buffet is just Phish for people with jobs too cushy to risk an office drug test.

The idea of a 3rd party is wonderful, provided its built from grassroots up in successful local elections over a long series of cycles. Otherwise, no matter how well-intentioned, they’re simply a vanity candidate detracting from a viable candidate they agree with 90% of the time.

If you come up with a vegan burger so good it brainwashes you into thinking it’s the real thing, you should market it as The Hearst Patty.

The wind whispers to you its comfortable truths. “Bitcoin,” it gusts, “is just Beanie Babies that can’t even be used as dog toys when the enthusiasts lose interest.”

Is a heavy-set frat boy “brotund”?