nov 24 in idea barrages

The woman in the stirrups looked down in stunned silence that her 14 hours of labour produced not a human baby but rather a piping hot pizza. “It wasn’t delivery,” the doctor sadly intoned, “it was Digiorno’s.”

An immortal rapper named Epoch Shakur.

Step 1: Take the video for Fatboy Slim’s “Weapon of Choice” and edit in a bunch of fire effects. Step 2: Dub the song “Walkin’ On The Sun” by Smash Mouth over the original sound. Step 3: Congratulations! You’ve made “Walken On The Sun”.

Invent an instrument that is a cow’s teats and you form the notes on which nipple you pull and how you pull it and then learn how to play upon it a Moo-light Sonata.

You know what’s fun? Singing along to the Black Crowes “Remedy” as though every single word in the song is “Remedy”.

Sing it like the State Farm ad. “It’s a bad you-TUBE, Jake Paul is THERE!”

I’m now of the opinion that the best name for a metal band would be “Invasive Feces”.

Too many people looking for a “Big Tiddy Goth Girlfriend” not enough people looking for a “Big Tiddy Vizigoth Girlfriend”. That’d be wild.