oct 30 in idea barrages

Strap some wheels on the bottom of your Ouija, call it a Fateboard.

I love the retail-nerd term “Labelscar”. The haunting residue of the dirt surrounding where a corporate logo once was. History that can only be seen by the gouge in the negative space adjacent to the forgotten ephemeral. A tacky past we’re forced to mourn for it was our own.

Every night when you fall asleep you die and every morning someone who believes they were the past deceased wakes up. This sounds depressing but it also means this new you can just decide to change. Dance on their grave, be someone better today. You aren’t beholden to that jerk.

Forty years on this Earth and I still regularly confuse Barry Manilow and Rod Stewart. They fit the exact same slots of meaning in my mind.

Dear youtube shill ads: perhaps if the product asks you to say “costs less than half the other premium brands” you may be actually saying “this is not a premium brand, these are Beets by Drew and sound like holding Spaghettio tins to your ears.”

Important to remember: the pro-Slavery statues are revisionist histories themselves, put up many decades later, not by august organizations but by “Music Man” style grifters selling flimsy pot-metal statues to gullible “Daughters of The Confederacy” types then blowing town.

Everyone knows the price, the value, not so much.

The most slam-dunk Halloween marketing tie-in would be a spicier dyed-red version of Hidden Valley ranch called FORBIDDEN VALLEY RANCH but we suffer again that I am not the world’s idea man.