aug 7 in idea barrages

Ideas had sitting with the dog in the Price Chopper parking lot: if you were performing “Teenage Wasteland” live with a fiddler, why not segue straight into “Istabul Not Constantinople” after?

Ideas sitting with the dog in the Price Chopper parking lot: I wonder how much they’d have to pay Arnold to do a “Get In Da Choppa” ad for them?

“To prove a point” is the worst reason to do a thing that I can possibly imagine. Even doing terrible things on purpose, at least they’re happening on purpose. When we do things to prove points, we usually make things worse while intending to do better.

If you could convince Trump that it’d really “own the libs” to pass the actual law that says a dog can’t play basketball, he’d do it, and we could finally secure the Air Bud voting bloc firmly against him.

It just struck me that the reason Little Caesar’s had square pizza back in the day was because the traditional slice of ‘za reminded Caesar of the many many daggers that ended his pre-mascot life.

I like to think that if you put what’s left of the Beach Boys and Jimmy Buffet in the same room and asked them, none of them would know which of them performed the song Kokomo.

You barge into the boardroom of Carvel Incorporated. The entire board is shocked, security guards hang off your body as you advance. “GENTLEMEN,” you yell, “TWO WORDS THIS VALENTINE’S DAY: Cupid Puss.” The guards immediately let you go. The CEO hands you a medal.

When at war with an ancient Greek minstrel, you gotta fight lyre with lyre.