july 28 in idea barrages

“Vagina dentata is such an ugly term,” she said, “I prefer to say… Georgia O’Teeth.”

Look J. Jonah Jameson square in the eye and whisper, in your best eastern European accent “In Soviet Russia, pictures of Spider-Man take YOU.”

You turn to face your life-long enemy, he is there, with a knife at the ready, prepared to lock into a death-battle with you. There is respect within your hatred, however. He allows you to greet him and you do so formally. “Charles Entertainment Cheese. So it is time.”

“Whipping your coffee into a slimy proto-foam” doesn’t sound like my kinda thing but, like, I realize that hiding from a plague makes people very very bored.

Name your California Raisins newsletter “Currant Events” or give the fan club to someone with some imagination, for God’s sake.

Ollie can actually shunt his solid waste into a pocket dimension when he has finished digesting. It is part of his deal with the elder ones. He only poops so that he can humiliate me by making me walk in circles for 15 minutes and then crapping in front of me.

You put on the sunglasses from They Live. You learn the most terrible secret of all: The Gorton’s Fisherman is not to be trusted. The Gorton’s Fisherman is not to be trusted at all.

Some day, Elvis Abbott will reveal himself and do battle to the death with Elvis Costello. The winner will eat other’s heart, gaining his power and declare “I’M ON FIRST.”