july 16 in idea barrages

Whoever wrote the line “But Patty likes to rock and roll, a hot dog makes her lose control” knew EXACTLY what they were doing there and you will never convince me otherwise.

Build a really geeky NIN parody about DC Comics around the line “GRODD IS DEAD/AND NO ONE CARES/BUT WHEN FLASH GOES TO HELL/HE’LL SEE HIM THERE!”

It will be about a celebrated elderly mystery author who kills terrible people and frames slightly less terrible people for those deaths called MURDER SHE SMOTE.

Being out of touch with pop music is the most glorious feeling. “Blah blah turns 21!” Twitter tells me. I have no idea who that is and it feels so GOOD. There is so much more room in my brain, I can stretch my legs out and everything.

If we ever need to create a new system of measuring time, I suggest the base unit as the time it takes In N Out fries to cool off from Amazing to Terrible.

You down with PPE? MASKS PROTECT ME! Who down with PPE? EVERY LIVE HOMIE!

The logical extension of getting your pets put on your socks is, of course, that darned cat.

Only now, in quarantine, do we understand that the best game-show consolation prize was a copy of the home game. Ain’t no point in Turtle Wax when there’s nowhere to drive to.