july 9 in idea barrages

The only proper pet-name for a vegan lover is a “Cutie-Tofutti”.

Russian for “jetski” is “jetskiski”.

Tomorrow, in Utah, they celebrate Cinco de Mayonnaise and they just do mayo shots with all the other sister wives until they puke.

Sell earpieces that only play Kid Rock and call them “joy-cancelling headphones”.

If one prostitutes one’s self for postage, is that person a stamp tramp?

A restaurant for exhibitionists called TMI Fridays.

A reboot of the mediocre kids’ cartoon JOHNNY TEST except about the adventures of a young John Tesh.

Popeye’s catchphrase, hell, his entire ethos “I am what I am and that’s all that I am” is a denial of the fact that he has a rich internal life, which of course he does, we all do. That poor sailor man must be living in incalculable pain to need to forever repeat a lie so brazen.