july 5 in idea barrages

There are a lot of similarities between Cinco de Mayo and Hannukah in that, in their actual cultural traditions, they’re minor holidays but they’re placed in good calendar spots to be celebrated by Americans so everyone just shrugs and goes with it.

I wonder if anyone ever flirted with Mister Boombastic by saying “So is there a… Mrs. Boombastic?”

Maybe venereal diseases would be less vilified if we called them “snugglebugs”.

We remake Maximum Overdrive except with Shrek on the truck instead of the Green Goblin and we call it MAXIMUM OGREDRIVE.

You could start one hell of a John Denver parody with the simple words: “There’s a Santa… yes, Virginia…”

I have decided that the phrase for a puke cascade effect where one person pukes then another then another and so on will be a “vomino rally”.

At some point before they married, Jay-Z was technically Fiancee Knowles.

Hipsters are good fellow travellers for my art but sometimes you just wanna go back in time and murder Mumford before he could sully the earth with his Sons.