may 15 in idea barrages

You know what they say, when life gives you the eggs of giant bird-woman monsters, make harpy hollandaise!

Dear conspiracy theorists: I trust China a lot more than I trust Russia. China may be a vicious dictatorship but they know their economy dies without us. Vladimir Putin just wants to see the world burn. Why would they engineer a virus to kill their best customers?

Maybe, at least, this situation will finally teach some people the truth that no one has ever had their act together, no one has ever been perfect, no one has a plan guaranteed to work, we’re all just making this up as we’re going along.

The best way to troll the He-Man character Buzz-Off is to constantly refer to him as “Bee-Man” no matter how often he corrects you.

If the aliens from Vega comes here to eat us, at least we’ll be able to call it The Attack of The Meat-Eating Vegans.

Activated charcoal? Yeah, that’s cool. You know what’s REALLY cool? Completely unmotivated charcoal.

The only possible value Jared Kushner could ever provide society would be playing the civilian identity of the villain The Scarecrow at Batman Stuntshow at a… 2nd rate Six Flags theme park.

If you’re up all night trying to find the right words for a best man speech at a wedding reception, is that a synonym toast crunch?