may 1 in idea barrages

LESS PALL MALLS, MORE PALMOLIVE!

Having Zoomed into a writers’ group in Utica and an open mic in Brooklyn today, I reckon I can officially upgrade from “Gen X” to “Millenial”, like, legally.

You better DIS-TANCE yo’self before you PANTS yo’self.

They call creating your own food “making it from Scratch” because that’s an old name for Satan and that stuff is some damn devil magic.

If I were in the Justice League, I would sing the Mister Clean jingle as “MISTER QUEEN, MISTER QUEEN” at the Green Arrow until he tried to hit me with the boxing glove arrow, for sure.

If Sea World is shut down, does that means it is now “for entertainment porpoises only”?

Call the weapon shop in your third village “Mace Hardware”! LET THEM TRY TO STOP YOU!

I ain’t wanting to means-shame here but if you gotta split your purchase into “five easy payments of eight dollars a month” to buy something forty dollars, like, perhaps QVC is not the best use of your resources right now.