apr 19 in idea barrages

I wonder if anyone ever said “I know, we’ll start a bar with a brass band every night and we’ll call it Horn Pub!” and then they had their heart broken when it was explained it would be forever confused with an erotica site called Pornhub.

“Before the plague,” you’ll tell the grandkids, “toilet paper was so cheap, we’d wipe our asses with it!” They’ll roll their eyes. “Right, just like how you had to get in a bus in the morning and RIDE to teleschool.”

Maybe if someone had ever asked Jeeves how he was doing, maybe he would still search the internet for us.

A job listing for the Crazy Glue factory, looking for bright self-starters ready to work in a fast paste environment.

Tik-tok and Twitch sound more like anxiety symptoms than computer programs. Twitter too! (Facebook sounds more like the finishing move by a librarian-themed professional wrestler.)

Remember: almost no one needs a gun to be safe, we need functional communities to be safe, the very few who might would never brag on that need, the brags would make them even bigger targets. If you’re bragging about your ability to murder instantly, it’s only for sick thrills.

When you see Spring Break Idiots refusing to go home for the sake of public safety, that’s not “the young people” ignoring the risks of COVID. That’s rich people who happen to be young being irresponsible. They’re out of touch with reality because of inherited wealth, not youth.

Yeah ok, 100 years ago they called H1N1 “Spanish Flu”. Y’know what, though? One: we know better now. Two: for months & months, everyone has called it Corona or COVID. It’s one thing to excuse ingrained public parlance, it’s another thing to newly-mint hate speech.