apr 9 in idea barrages

“These Fig Newtons taste awful, like gun powder and K-Mart…” looks down, realizes they accidentally purchased Fig Nugents.

Ain’t nobody wants to share your misery but they may wanna share your light. Don’t deny the misery but try to focus on the light. We need a spirit but we don’t need ghosts.

The urge to sign up for an online dating app is powerful but the knowledge I’d just waste my time & energy, be let down & feel worse afterward helps keep me away, most of the time. In this sense, online dating apps are much like fringe political candidates.

The highest honour in college basketball is called The Wooden Award but it appears to be made of mostly glass and metal, leave it to jocks to miss an obvious pun.

“So what you’re saying is, it turns out I’m not a full-blown telepath but I am an empath?” “My thoughts inexactly!”

Well, just saw people defending the price gouging of preventative medicine supplies as “someone just trying to make a living” and… that’s enough internet for today. Oh, I’ll still be on the internet, I’m just saying I know it’s enough.

It’s too bad there was never a Canadian Eminem. We coulda called him “Smarties”.

Maybe the real pandemic was the friends we made along the way.