apr 7 in idea barrages

Don’t say “I haven’t had sex in years”. Say “I’m dry-aging my meat”. It sounds all classy cooking show host.

Your sexy French Super Mario Brothers cosplay will be called Brigitte Birdo.

Maybe they’re all buying up this toilet paper because when the virus dies down, we’re all gonna have a big mummy-themed costume party to celebrate.

Rachel Ray’s DnD alignment is Chaotic EVOO.

Putin’s masterstroke in his war against American democracy was the realization Useful Idiots are often more valuable than paid agents as Useful Idiots think they’re not working for you so they’ll never flip on you, will never narc you out, will be Useful until the bitter end.

There is no right answer. There are only the wrong answers that are the most livable and the most humane.

Saddest are those on the left who see Trumpers as potential allies, populists who just need be taught the correct people to hate, but hope fellow progressives who are just more realistic about the pace of change in a plural democracy see the guillotine. Horseshoe theory, I guess.

I guess the newly made multi-billionaire who’ll be trying to run for president in 2024 will be minted this year from the toilet paper crisis. Bill Charmin The Fourth or whoever.