feb 20 in idea barrages

If you shorten “birthday” to “b-day” just remember that out loud it will sound like “bidet”.

I guess I’ve built parodies around less than hearing “the sutures were wide open” in a Tom Petty song.

Nothing ruins happiness more than a preconceived notion of what you think your happiness is supposed to be.

The Oscars seem especially superfluous in an election year, we’re already full up on rich people popularity contests.

A sanitized Christian version of Rent called LENT would be equal parts hideous and hilarious.

When you’re so vodka drunk your spine crumples up, that’s stoliosis.

Your album of bass heavy Primus influenced Star Wars soundtrack covers will be called PORG SODA.

On Soviet Grindr, docking pays YOU.