feb 9 in idea barrages

Dieting would be more fun if we called it “Ding-Dong ditching”.

A washed-up Andrew Dice Clay is forced to investigate a vast conspiracy theory in THE ADVENTURES OF FNORD FNAIRLANE.

You will call your band “Matthew, Let’s Go” and you will all wear jumpsuits with exclamation marks all over them.

Buying in bulk is really just paying pretail.

It is one thing to see the world as it truly is. Its another to see it as it truly should be. But to be able to see both at once, to measure the exact distance between the two, I imagine that’s like hell.

I recognize that it is because of my privilege that I can be sad about the state of this nation and this world, not angry, but I’ll take it because if I only had the ability to be angry, I’d’a exploded by now.

I hope the next trend in Weird Upper-Middle-Class White People Names is disease-homonyms. In twenty-years, buncha five-star high school quarterbacks from Utah and Southern California named Mersa, Poleo, Shyngels, what have you.

Na na na, na na na na, na na na na, don’t Juul.