feb 7 in idea barrages

My generation didn’t invent working on multiple jobs on different shifts but we DID have the balls to give it the fancy name “polyphasic sleep” so we do have that.

Incredibly specific pet peeve: youtubers who call Mario and Luigi, instead of either “Super Mario Brothers” or “Super Mario Brohs”, say “Super Mario BRROSE”. I don’t even know how to correctly explain in mere text how wrong they say it.

Me in my 20s: “why do women around here only seem to date stable boring redneck meatheads?” Me at 40: “oh, it’s the whole stable part” as if I’m Heston realizing it was Earth all along.

LOCAL RADIO FIRES MOST LOCAL ON AIR TALENT screams the small city paper that fired most of its writers 15 years ago.

It’d be great to start a State Hysterical Society where once a month, we all get into a fancy board room and just freak the hell out

The exact day our country will have thrown in the towel is the day we synch up the Super Bowl with Presidents Day so that people with good jobs can just sleep off their hangovers.

Singing “I’m the best… around… lingering self doubt will keep me down!” at the top of your lungs in the shower is only a good idea if you live alone.

If Ozzy had been Ringo and Ringo had been Ozzy, the nickname Ringo would sound metal instead of goofy as hell.