jan 14 in idea barrages

If only “Starf” was a word in English, I could make some really great Nintendo “Starf Ox” jokes. Maaaaaybe an Icelandic retro-gamer would enjoy a joke about the hard-working (starf means work in Icelandic) ox rolling barrels but that’s about it.

You will perform vaguely Beatlesesque mediocre alt-metal under the name “Badfinger Death Punk”.

Constantly refer to Humpty Dumpty as “the Precarious B.I.G.”

His perfection of the toupee making art was a real rugs-to-riches story.

Enthusiastic horses are hot-to-trot whereas enthusiastic eugenicists are hate-to-trait.

There’s probably money in starting a fat people cover band of The White Stripes called The Vertical Stripes. I’ve never played the drums before, which means I can play at least as well as Meg White so that’s a start.

Two days after Christmas is devoted to thirsty social media private messages and is called In-Boxing Day.

I really enjoy how every time a 3-D fad hits, people will try to say “no no, THIS IS THE TIME it is going to stay mainstream forever!” I don’t wanna, like, mediatheorysplain but it didn’t work in the 50s, it didn’t work with Avatar, it ain’t working next time either.