dec 17 in idea barrages

The children of Abraham have it wrong, I fear, history is not a straight line toward one big glorious ideological explosion. It’s the Norse who had it right, all we can do is hold off Ragnarok for another generation.

Would a partial discovery of KFC’s secret blend of herbs and spices be a Colonel of truth?

If your jazz-deathmetal fusion album isn’t called “The Afterbirth of The Cool” why did you even make that album?

A piece of bread on the floor, a piece of bread stapled to the ceiling, a wad of cold cuts suspended in mid-air by fishing line. The work of a Subway dadaist sandwich artist.

Wheat Thins? Yeah, that’s cool. But do you know what’s REALLY cool? WHEAT THICKS.

A gritty sexy remake of Oliver Twist called GRUEL INTENTIONS.

Because he’s so fat and fuzzy, I’ve been calling the dog “Hairy Elephante” but he won’t acknowledge the quality of the joke.

That moment when you think you’re coming up off hold but it’s just the music pausing to loop.