nov 26 in idea barrages

83% of all kids’ movies could be ended three minutes in by the phrase “Yes, there is actually a rule that a dog cannot play basketball. It is the very first rule to basketball in the basketball book.”

How was Tasha Yar’s sex life like her iPhone? With both, she was a lot happier after she switched to android.

If you wear black and white striped jeans, someone asks “Excuse me, are those Beagle Boy jeans that you’re wearing?” and you answer “Why yes”, you two are now legally married.

The “Epstein didn’t kill himself” meme hasn’t mutated to a point where a “signed Epstein’s mother” reference from WELCOME BACK KOTTER is involved yet and, honestly, it’s disappointing.

A London Calling parody involving the line “CVS CALLING, THEY’VE GOTTEN IN YOUR PILLS, THE ROBOT IS WONDERING ARE THERE OTHER REFILLS?”

Step 1: print up a bunch of fake UPC code stickers. Step 2: skulk about the Hobby Lobby, affixing them to items. Step 3: ??? Step 4: PROFIT.

I’ll never understand the praise of politicians whose positions never changed or evolved over their lifetimes. You gotta have the intellectual honesty to change with new information and the wisdom to know where one compromises for the greater good to lead in a democracy.

Stewarts could probably save their customers some deposit fees by getting their in-house “Mountain Brew” beer legally reclassified as a diluted industrial solvent.