oct 27 in idea barrages

Why say “this hangover gave me diarrhea” when you can instead say “I have fecal alcohol syndrome”?

The phrase “mental health professional” is weird, I dunno. As if there is anything wrong with seeing a therapist, as if we need a new safe term for it. It’s fun calling myself a “mental health amateur” though.

I dont know much about what would go in a JOKERS STEP MOM pitch but I know it would involve the line “you wanna know how I got these scarves?”

I cannot speak for all of human history, I’ve only been here for half an eyeblink but here’s what I can tell you: right here, right now, we need a lot less people trying to be great and a lot more people trying to be good or else this is all about to fall apart.

Start a band named Water so you can join up with Heart and Earth Wind and Fire so can have the Captain Planet Tour.

I feel like we are ripe for an ironic hard-rock cover of KARMA CHAMELEON to be a minor novelty hit.

When someone is all “individual rights!” and then covers their lawn in signs supporting authoritarian candidates all about centralized power, but they’re racist so it’s cool, you’ve learned something terrible about the darkheart of American politics.

For much of my life, I tried to downplay my enthusiasm for the things I liked, because I thought it came off as needy or fake. I’m too old for that now, though. No more trying to pretend that I’m too cool for school, no more distancing. Passion until I burn out someday.