aug 30 in idea barrages

  • Aug. 29, 2019, midnight
  • |
  • Public

  1. In the “Peter Porker, Spider-Ham” universe, I sure as hell hope that Moon Knight was a cow named Moo Knight.

  2. Sentences that make total sense as a barista but sound dirty anywhere else: “I’m sorry but I don’t have the equipment required to heat your muffin.”

  3. A story about a ‘75 vehicular homicide attempt on Pres. Ford’s life. His neighbors say he was odd but quiet, tongue-tied & twisted, but on arrest will rant how the “king of the castle is a dirty rascal”. He’ll be named David Matthew Band & the story called “Crash”.

  4. Sentences that make total sense as a barista but sound dirty anywhere else: “Don’t touch the wand unprotected now when it’s frothing.”

  5. It’s always weird to me when people put their hearts, souls and money behind fringe presidential candidates who are clearly just there to raise their national profile to run for a higher intermediate office or for a future presidential run then drop out.

  6. Don’t let your world get small. Nothing will drive you crazier than letting your world get small. When you’ve only got a few concerns, any little thing shifting can drive you up a wall. Make new friends. Do new stuff. Don’t let your world get small.

  7. The belief that only Catholics go to heaven is just confirmation bias.

  8. Conan the Hipster Barbarian worships the god Krombucha.


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