july 12 in idea barrages

1.) If you view every movie about a scruffy lovable dog on Netflix in one sitting, that’s called Benjwatching.

2.) Hark, what malady vexes yon varlets where they would besmirch my lady fair/what sin against them could I have done to bring such tumult to bear?/OO EE OO, IN VISAGE I RESEMBLE BUDDY HOLLY/UH-OH, SIMILAR THOU ART TO MARY TYLER MOORE!

3.) An updated version of Red Dead Redemption where you play a rodeo clown instead of a cowboy called “Red Dead Redemption: Remix” so everyone has to call it RDRR.

4.) If you’re the only rapper in Indianapolis and you don’t call yourself “Hoosier Daddy” what’s even the point?

5.) Your goth swing band will be called Big Vlad Voodoo Daddy.

6.) Your Cinderella parody about puberty will be called “Bibbity Bobbity Boobs”.

7.) All terrible rap-metal bands are The Children of the Korn, really.

8.) Tea: leaves dried gently in the sun. Coffee: beans ROASTED THEN GROUND UP TO GIVE US THEIR BLOOD. I think the answer is clear.