july 4 in idea barrages

1.) Vote Susan “The Invisible Woman” 2020 - For Transparency In Government

2.) Your band that only plays heavy metal covers of Gordon Lightfoot will be called “Gordon Heavyfoot”.

3.) Get you a man who binges Night Court on VHS, not The Office on Netflix.

4.) A website and a restaurant can each be down for server maintenance.

5.) The realization that you’ve aged to the point where the next time you’re dating someone steady, you’ll have to call her your “ladyfriend” because “girlfriend” would just sound creepy.

6.) If America wins an international soccer tournament, the rest of the world should have to call it “soccer” for the next four years. It’s only fair.

7.) I mean, at this point in our nation’s health and well-being situation, it’s more “United We Sit”, isn’t it?

8.) Your post-apocalyptic story about the last youtubers on Earth held captive by the Alexasiri hivemind will be called “I Have No Mouth And I Must Stream”.