june 28 in idea barrages

1.) Just because it’s stupid doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Just because it’s real doesn’t make it right.

2.) In Soviet maudlin pop-country music, Harper Valley widowed wife tells story about YOU.

3.) If a praying mantis wants his mother to kill and eat him, does he have an Edible Complex?

4.) Between Bernie’s inability to meaningfully connect with minorities & women (why he lost to Hilary in ‘16) & the right’s ability to yell “COMMIE!” at him, I think Bernie’d win the Northeast & the West Coast handily, one or two upper Midwestern states & the rest of the country would go beet-red.

5.) If a re-reboot of CHARLIE’S ANGELS wasn’t one of the signs of the Endtimes, clearly it is the Book of Revelation that needs the reboot.

6.) Sometimes I will look at the Democratic debate and there are so many people on the stage, I will forget that I am not also running for President. By sheer odds, you would think I was, it’s like… 120 million declared candidates by this point.

7.) I could not name a single Josh Groban song and do not want to because imagining that he just sings the original He-Man theme but with the word “Gro-BAN” instead for two hours straight is more interesting than anything he could actually do.

8.) What with most of the cast of Ghostbusters 3 looking to be, like, 75 or something, I hope the tagline will be “Bustin’ Make Me Feel Tired”.