june 2 in idea barrages

1.) If your metal band isn’t named MARY TYLER MORGUE, I feel sorry for you. I pity you whatever your actual name is.

2.) I like to think that with every new box office number for ENDGAME, James Cameron comes a little closer to snapping, beginning to claim Avatar 2 and Avatar 3 were released as smash hits years ago and that Avatar 4 is coming out in 2086.

3.) Honeycrisp apples are neither crisp nor do they taste like honey. They are, in fact, legumes.

4.) The secret to writing well is to write so goddamned much that you begin to exhaust your potential pool of bad writing until you can only do good work by default.

5.) One of the upsides of being an anxious person is that I know no one in the world is actually as critical of me as I am of myself. It is a pretty crappy superpower, really, but it is occasionally useful.

6.) DUMBO: FIRST BLOOD, DUMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART TWO, DUMBO THREE, JOHN DUMBO, DUMBO: LAST BLOOD

7.) What’s supposed to be wrong with an eight-way tie at the spelling bee? Why is everyone so weird about pseudo-Darwinian “there must be one winner!” malarkey? Like… eight kids can all be crowned really good spellers, nothing’s gonna burn down if you do that.

8.) I mean, I want to write a parody of “Pumped Up Kicks” about that line in DUNE about the many machines on IX. Of course I do. In a sense, we all do.