may22 in idea barrages

1.) A conspiracy theory where the world is secretly ruled by sentient bullets but the rightful kings have been unseated twice by having Kennedies thrown at them.

2.) In film lingo, the last set-up for shooting of the day is called “martini” as you’ll be drinking shots next. Not enough people drink through the first set-up of the day to call them “establishing shots” but if they did, they should.

3.) I mean, taintball is ALMOST exactly like paintball except only one place on the body counts as a hit.

4.) If your viewer/listener/readership can be tanked by “spoilers”, you’re doing it wrong. If all anyone cares about is plot progression, you may as well just sell slips of paper that say “x dies/y & z get married”. Plot’s just a vehicle for the good stuff.

5.) If we start letting computers create new “Law And Order SVU” scripts from existing data, would those be procedurally-generated procedurals?

6.) “You sure know how to drink until you pass out” she said, damning him with faint praise.

7.) Frankly, I’m surprised that a store with as unflattering a name as DRESS BARN survived THIS long.

8.) Your comedy about how the British royal family ARE actually lizard aliens except, plot-twist, benignly quirky aliens with no ill intent toward the human race will be called THRONEHEADS. Oh God, will it be terrible.

9.) Your album of Led Zepplin songs as lullabyes will be called TREEHOUSES OF THE HOLY.

10.) When you hear someone use the term “virtue signalling” unironically, you know you’ve found a person who genuinely believes no one ever has real altruistic feelings, that decency is somehow just a con.

11.) I’m waiting for a Mad Max Cinematic Universe film about the car lots that sell them their used war machines so that it can be called TANKS FOR NOTHING.