may17 in idea barrages

1.) Always always always pretend to confuse “quinoa” and “ben wa”. It never ceases to liven up conversations.

2.) The problem with tipping points in history is that there are too many people out there who are smart enough to see them coming but too goddamned arrogant to realize that they might be tipping in the wrong direction. Then everything goes kerfluey.

3.) facebook continues to refuse to understand that I didn’t want to “help Helen smash” as a comedy series and now I want it a hundred times less in my feed now that it’s a mommyblog.

4.) “The pen is mightier than the sword” is really just talking points.

5.) Having blown the head of the zombie CEO off, exhausted, one of the zombie hunters smiled and said “see, Diane? you’ve got management material all over you.”

6.) Try to convince someone that you hate the accent they whistle with.

7.) The best taunt when about to fight someone from Massachusetts is to yell “I’M GONNA BEAT YOU INTO WORCESTER SAUCE!” It works in England too but it’s not as funny.

8.) Do prisoners of Azkaban get conjurable visits?