may9 in idea barrages

1.) You ever have a nightmare where you are being the version of you that would’ve made one of your exes the happiest and halfway through the dream, you realize that being that version of you is goddamned miserable? Just me?

2.) If you had to generate a scale upon which someone’s interest in something is measured, I think “Avatar Sequels” would be a good way to express the least-interest possible.

3.) You can always tell when I’m at an open mic, because I dont know how to go to “newest first” on Facebook mobile, so I start replying to things in the clumps The Algorithm gives me.

4.) Is there anything grosser than an op-ed cartoon that assumes a performer’s afterlife “reward” would be linked to a role they played 30 years ago and not, like, their parents or partner or siblings?

5.) Those who can and can also teach, teach. Those who only can, just do. Teachers are actually a lot better than doers and for their trouble, they get a higher-pay-floor but less respect for no real reason. Us mere doers get the ceiling and respect, I don’t know why.

6.) Remember: whenever someone is railing against “political correctness” or “overly sensitive people” they are really saying “I deserve the privilege to be terrible to other people”. Nothing more.

7.) Buncha angry old white man comics, pissed the world passed them by and they didn’t get to live out their Rat Pack/Howard Stern fantasies before a LITTLE more accountability was introduced to the proceedings. Screw ‘em.

8.) The monsters who think they’re still “good”, oh yeah, that’s disconcerting. But a show me a “hero” who thinks they’ve progressed BEYOND good and evil and I’ll show you a catastrophe waiting to happen.