may2 in idea barrages
- May 1, 2019, 8:29 p.m.
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- Public
1.) The knuckle-ball is a holy thing, a pitch where the point is that even the pitcher doesn’t quite know where it’s going so how the hell are you as a hitter going to know either? If there’s a God up there that looks anything like a human, She is definitely a knuckle-ball pitcher.
2.) Hope is a wonderful thing but the belief that things will go right, just WILL, is something beyond me. Faith, I don’t know for. Faith seems to me to be the same tyrant Fear, just with a better tailor.
3.) Open your psychology 101 class by screeching “YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU’RE IN THE JUNG-HOLE, BABY! YOU’RE GONNA LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARN!” Why not. Life is exceedingly short.
4.) I guess we could have a parody of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” about the astonishing racism behind Brexit, sure.
5.) Your Flaming Lips themed cryptocurrency will be called Waynecoin. Like all cryptocurrencies, it will be mostly used to buy drugs on the dark web but fitting its inspiration, will lean heavily into LSD.
6.) Most cases of Irritable Bowel Disorder are because our guts evolved to fight off worms and now that we eat a lot less of them, our defenses are left to turn on themselves instead. It is one hell of a metaphor concerning the human condition.
7.) I enjoy the fact that in some versions of the Marvel story, Hydra actually existed long before SHIELD, much the same way Hydrox existed long before Oreos. There’s an absurd symmetry there.
8.) And then there is of course Olive’s stoner youngest sister Ceebiedi Oyl. She was incredibly disappointed when it turned out that really is just spinach in those cans.
9.) But if you DID have to create a May Day/Star Wars meme, it’d be a picture of Chewbacca in shackles with the caption “Wookies Of The World Unite, You Have Nothing To Lose But Your Chains”, right?
10.) Getting used to new sleeping patterns, today I’ve been so exhausted that I barely remember what being hausted feels like.
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