mayday in idea barrages

1.) I enjoy that the British have a silly fancy word for “eggplant” because eggplant is gross as hell and it’s always been a shame the noble egg is tarred by association with it. Hooray for the pretension that is the word “aubergine”.

2.) Pretty sure if I owned a place that needed a “no smoking sign” I’d definitely go with a “Dodongo Dislikes Smoke” reference. And I’d have my bouncer dress like an angry triceratops. Which is why I shouldn’t be a business owner.

3.) What definitely saved me from becoming a problem drinker is that I am both a beer snob and perpetually lacking in funds. If low-cost swill actually tasted good, I would probably drink a lot more often.

4.) RESOLVED: the best Smashing Pumpkins song was “for martha”.

5.) If you accept this slow change you will never fully reap the benefits of, in two generations, no one will ever suffer like you are again. But you’ll have to accept that for it to stick, you will never see that day in full. Can you live with that for the future’s sake?

6.) If you’re gonna make a bib jeans themed birthday cake, you damn well better use Osh Kosh ganache.

7.) Your song about the emo scene will be called “Pretty Fly (For A Whine Guy)”.

8.) There is something to the double meaning that in cities “taking the L” is commuter term for taking an elevated light-rail train but in rural places “taking the L” is a sporting term for accepting that you’ve lost and moving on.