apr13 in idea barrages

1.) When you realize that youtube is a secret werewolf conspiracy because they all want you to “lycan subscribe”.

2.) I mean, you could write a parody of Fleetwood Mac’s “Rhiannon” about the Disney film Moana. You could. It is possible.

3.) On the one hand, Captain Hook hates Peter Pan.

4.) Suggested pick-up line: “has anyone ever told you that you don’t belong on a pizza? because you’re a fineapple”.

5.) If you threw up at 10AM, that’d also be brexit.

6.) The most disheveled a human can possibly look is “a rich person trying to look pitiable at their court appearance”. I could get hit by a truck hungover in 3-day old clothes & a rich person in court would still manage to make me look like Sir William Businesssuit.

7.) I hope there was one critic in Germany who didn’t get the camp value of the Ed Wood oeuvre and was all like “More like Plan NEIN, am I right?”

8.) Even though you know it can’t actually happen, still, a small part of you hopes that as you watch the Avengers undo Thanos’ handiwork, it’ll somehow via sympathetic magic also undo all the awful things that’ve happened the last few years in the real world too.

9.) The libertarian librarian raised 50 thousand dollars on indiegogo so she could have enough money to fire herself.

10.) Ten million fanfares for the brilliant, for the wild, for the genius and iconoclast. Even the occasional fanfare for the common man, here or there, but never for the merely above-average but uselessly-so. Maybe we need one too.

11.) If you pole-dance to a polka, that is, like, meta-pole-dancing.

12.) Our line of ambiguous health supplements will include the full range of semi-biotics.